Michael says the main difference between him and Donald Trump is that he gets no pleasure out of firing people.
Dwight is really nervous about the downsizing so he moves the water cooler closer to his desk so he can overhear gossip.
Michael wants to improve morale in the office, so he has Pam find out whose birthday is coming up. Pam tells him that the nearest one is Meredith but it's not until next month. He says they should still have a party.
Pam, Angela, and Phyllis decide on decorations for the party, as they are the official party planners. Michael suggests that they get an ice-cream cake even though Meredith is allergic to dairy.
Dwight talks to Jim and says it would be a good idea for them to form an alliance because of the downsizing. Jim tells him he absolutely wants to form an alliance, but it's mostly to mess with Dwight behind his back and prey on his suspicions.
Michael gets a card for Meredith and wants to write the funniest thing he can think of for her. In addition, he wants to lighten the mood in the office because of the downsizing rumors.
Jim tells Dwight that Toby and Kevin were conspiring in the kitchen and talking about Angela getting kicked off. Dwight thinks they're forming an alliance also. Jim says they need to assume that everyone in the office is forming an alliance and trying to kick them off.
Jim tells Dwight that there's going to be an alliance meeting in the warehouse during Meredith's party. Dwight hides in a box waiting for someone to show, and Jim tapes it up. Dwight tells Jim he needs to go up to the party so no one gets suspicious.
Meredith returns to the office and they give her a surprise party for her birthday one month from now. Meredith is, of course, very surprised. But she can't eat the cake because she's allergic to dairy.
Michael asks Meredith to read the card notes to her. Michael's says, "Lets hope the only downsizing that happens to you is that someone downsizes your age." No one laughs. He then tries out other lines and they also bomb, breaking up the party.